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Sega's Best Content Coming To Nintendo Switch With "Sega Ages", Is Literally Just The Sonic Twitter Account

Finally, a way to access all of the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account's tweets on your Switch.

Lord Waffle King, published April 16th 2018

Sega may have been reeling after the lukewarm reception of critically panned Sonic Forces, but it seems they've gotten a handle on what their customers want again.

No one actually wants new 3D Sonic games, or any new Sonic games for that manner. Sonic fans just want to play Green Hill Zone, and shitpost to try and pretend like their community isn't 99% comprised of furries and porn artists that would love nothing more than to see Sonic's arms and legs amputated so Eggman could force-feed him his own diapers. Just to fatten him up, boil him alive, and eat him while wearing a dress. You know, typical Sonic stuff haha.

The nice people over at Sega and Sonic Team got the idea now though. They understand. No more shitty 3D Sonic games. They're starting something new, something fresh. They're gonna recapture some of that classic Sega magic, with the new "Sega Ages" series for Switch. There have been a few in the past, bringing retro games to newer platforms. But how many times can they possibly rerelease the original Sonic the Hedgehog? No, this is something more modern and recent.

Ahh, the classics

Sonic Tweets. Sega Ages, currently in development for the Switch, will be bringing all of the best Sonic the Hedgehog tweets people love so much to Nintendo's newest console. Finally, gamers will be able to browse a remastered collection of the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account’s greatest tweets and replies. Now in full 1080p, and in a sharp new font.

Players will be able to look at and "Like" tweets on their Switch. However, these "Likes" will not count as real "Twitter Likes" and will ultimately do nothing. Even if the player has a real Twitter account and links it to their Switch. So players can "Like" away, without worrying about what may pop up in their real life Twitter feed.

Playable with or without Joy-Cons

To commemorate this new release, the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account has been given clearance to say "Fuck" by Sega. You heard that right. Sonic the Hedgehog's Twitter account is now allowed to say "Fuck", for a limited time only. Gamers that pre-order Sega Ages for Switch through Amazon will get framed printouts of Sonic the Hedgehog's Twitter account saying "Fuck" as well, as a pre-order bonus.

Sega Ages is set to release some time in the Summer in two different variants; a complete bundle for a standard set retail price, and a "Free to Start" version one can download off the eShop. From there, players may view Tweets once for free, and any Tweets they particularly like can be purchased and downloaded for a discounted price from the full game.

This will surely be a profitable venture for Sega, as they're bundling all of their most valuable and popular content into one convenient package.